The Night Watches

As Paul’s battle intensifies, I find my sleep is lessening. I wake many times a night just to reach over and touch him. Tonight, sleep never came and with good reason. He was awakened in excruciating pain. I know God wanted me awake so I could help him. His cancer has now entered his bones and is causing him great discomfort. How does one help someone in such pain and suffering? My heart is breaking for him as I minister to his needs. I cry out to God to show him mercy and give him relief. My warrior husband is still showing his strength even in his weakness. He puts on a brave face and a smile for us hoping to conceal the horrible pain he is suffering. We all know his battle will soon be complete. He is so very tired and at times asks God  how much more can he take. Only God knows how much more He will give Paul to carry. Our hearts cry would be that He would take it all away—but, suffering draws us closer to our Savior and the fellowship of His sufferings. We become more Christlike as we run into His arms for comfort. The night watches are bittersweet. We witness his beautiful conversations with God as he tells God how much he loves Him and trusts Him and how grateful he is for all the many blessings in His life. It shows us, his loving family, how much he loves God. It shows us his vulnerability as he begs for mercy in the hard times. We witness God answer his cries for comfort instantly. These are the precious times for us as we see his testimony of faith even in his most difficult times. It is these intimate, private moments that we get a glimpse of God and know He loves our dear one so very much as we witness the calm and peace come over his countenance. We know He has been with God. 

Psalm 63:6, 7  When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.  Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.